On my flight into Papua New Guinea, it hit me. I don’t know what exactly, but it did. As I looked down onto the clouds, Papua New Guinea soil finally within reach, days of airplanes and airports and sleeping upright behind me, I was overcome with emotion.
It’d be easy to chalk it all up to exhaustion, but my heart was engaging something different – something I couldn’t quite place. It felt as if this trip and this experience was no longer my own, but rather, it is God’s.
Here I was at 30,000 feet, looking down with the sun as my guide, and I sensed emotions not my own. Compassion – for the lost and broken of Papua New Guinea, for the missionaries who have given their lives for these people, for the travelers on my flight soon to land in Port Moresby for I don’t know what. Sadness – for the depravity that leads to hardened hearts, lives pursuing earthly means to fill an emptiness that if only they’d soften – Lord, please, soften their hearts – that emptiness, it belongs to Jesus. Love – intense wondrous love for each of the 7+ billion people in this world, most of whom look nothing like me on the outside but know the same longing for more that we all carry on the inside.
God – He had my heart in His clutch, and all I could do up there above those clouds was let the tears fall down.
As we began the descent into Papua New Guinea’s capital, I sighed heavy releasing it all, leaving me soul cleansed and heart full – with gratitude, humility, grace. I don’t know why it took me so long to get here, this was God’s trip all along, never my own.
Only God knows His intentions, His heart, His plans for this trip. I pray I can stay in the moment, one foot in front of the other, at His pace, in His time.
Lord, give me your heart.
And God said, “I have found David, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.” Acts 13:22
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26