I wrote this earlier in the week. Today I was brave enough to post it. This is not a brag; it's a deeply humble confession.
My insides are screaming. Fire and rage feel like a terrible tightness through my veins, making it hard to breathe.
I'm crying again.
The fatal racism that remains rampant in our country and the people in power who fuel its flames MUST STOP.
I confess to choosing silence to serve my own fears, and I am committed to silence no more.
By choosing silence, I sought to protect the perceived cost to myself: relationships, ego, perceptions and likability. I now see that by choosing silence, I was actually condoning hate, discrimination, brutality and devastating acts against the image of God and Jesus himself.
"Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me - you failed to do it to me." (Matthew 25:45 MSG)
I am sorry. I am so so so sorry.
And I know that my sorry is not enough.
So, I am starting here - with a confession and a commitment. I confess to a gluttonous overfeeding of my undeserved privilege. And I commit to listening - truly listening with my guard down, curiosity ignited and discomfort embraced. Lord willing, listening will lead to learning, growing and transforming.
And to those leaders and people of influence who have overcome fear and used their platforms to speak out against such terrible atrocities, thank you. Thank you for going before me. If not for you, I might still be serving my fear, pride and privilege at the expense of another person's human rights, dignity and life.
My first stop on this renewed journey toward a prayerful transformation is with pastor, teacher and activist, Rich Johnson. He took me to church, and I am deeply grateful for it.
